New Beginnings, New Ends

One of the most positive things that I have started in the past few years is this, my blog! While I'm sure one day I will look back and this and feel self-conscious, I really enjoy writing and the challenge of writing something that other people might read. I really enjoyed having subtopics to write about as part of my DC Bucket List (I might have more to add later this year...) and after reading an article on MindBodyGreen.com about goal-setting, I have been inspired to write about my personal goals for 2013 on here. In some ways, it feels strange to post my goals for this year publicly, but it also feels like I will be more accountable for reaching/not reaching them. It also gives me more to write about. :) I tried to think of goals that are realistic and that I will look back at with pride in myself after I achieve them. Without further adieu...

2013 Resolution #1: Lose 30 pounds by 2014

In some ways, this will be the most difficult goal to achieve. My whole family has struggled with obesity/weight loss and I am no exception. However, I did not really have issues with my weight until mid-way through college and after. I have always loved sports and was an athlete in high school so it was never a big issue. I was overweight probably starting junior or senior year in college and that continued into the years after college. However, during that time I was never "concerned" about my weight as I went to the gym fairly frequently and even took up new fitness activities (inter-mural field hockey and belly dancing!). By the time I left Portland to go to DC for grad school, I was about 190 lbs.

After that, it was like the perfect storm of weight gain. I got out of a long term relationship, started a new relationship, was adjusting to living in a new city and to grad school. I remember thinking about how interesting it was to me that the "Freshman 15" is common knowledge (though I managed to lose 15 lbs freshman year!) but no one talks about grad-school weight gain. Frankly, I would have been happy to only gain 15 lbs! Not only was I stressed out constantly by the work-load of school, but I also felt guilty about spending time going to the gym when I could be doing school work. I also felt guilty/stressed by the idea of spending precious time cooking dinner for my boyfriend (who worked irregular hours and was also stressed out from living in the city) and I. We ate fast food and delivery all the time. Emotionally, I also loved indulging in all of those foods that taste good but are horrible for you: comfort foods. To top it off, there was so much junk food more readily accessible to us in DC/Alexandria that it was fun to try new stuff and indulge. We ate everything from Olive Garden to Five Guys to Dairy Queen to McDonalds and all things in between. I didn't realize how much I loved pizza until we got down to DC and were able to order delivery Dominos all the time!

Despite all of the pictures of myself on Facebook that made cringe to see them (I could barely recognize myself), I was in denial about my weight for a long time. It wasn't until a good friend of mine really started focusing on her own weight loss (we had a similar amount to lose) that I really looked at myself and where I was. I could not believe how much my friend had been able to lose and how amazing she looked! She recommended My Fitness Pal to me as it had been a really integral part of her weight loss and I finally made the decision to lose weight in earnest in January of 2012. Inspired by my friend, I was able to lose 25 lbs last year. There are few better ways to give yourself a boost to your confidence than to lose weight like that. Not only did I have people that knew me remark on my weight loss but I was also able to fit into my clothes so much better. It was definitely an uphill battle, but totally worth it. I am as proud of that achievement as any other in my life.

So, this goal is a continuation of the weight loss efforts that I started last year. Moving to Maine has been hard- I have gained 10 lbs back since we moved in November. If it weren't for my efforts last year and establishing better eating habits/more self-control, it probably would have been a greater gain, so I am at least happy that it wasn't more. It was hard living with family with different eating and exercise habits than my own, but in the end it was my choice to eat poorly and work out very little. The move has been good in that it is harder to get fast food and delivery here so my boyfriend and I pretty much cook dinner every night- we rarely go out. Another plus about being in Maine is that I have room for a garden, so I am planning on growing vegetables and hopefully incorporating more vegetables into my diet. On the other hand, I was walking a lot in DC for my commute to work and here people, myself included, drive everywhere. It's not possible to walk most places in Maine. I need to do a better job of getting a work out in most days of the week. The past few weeks I have been using my Wii Fit Plus, which is good. My biggest obstacle is my 4-day 10-hour-a-day work week. I would really like to keep having Fridays off but I can't do it if it comes at the expense of making time for exercise. I am hopeful for the summer as I love being outside in Maine. I think I can achieve this goal, which would put me under 200 lbs for the first time in 4 years, but I need to make time for being active and eating right.

Settling into Life in Vacationland

I really thought that my next post would be about developments in Northeast Asia, i.e. North Korea, one of my areas of study, but that's boring. Perhaps I will give my 2 cents later.

Life has really changed into the past few months/half a year! My boys and I are officially back in Maine. While it is good to be back, it has taken some time to really settle into life here. We lived with relatives for almost three months when we first got back. It got old after a while for everyone involved, but we are all still on speaking terms. It seems so long ago now.

I don't consider myself to be a superstitious person but I don't believe in coincidence. I believe that everything happens for a reason and everything will turn out ok, even if I can't see it at the time. Right before I left DC I was contacted for an interview for what I considered at the time to be my dream job with a study-abroad organization in Portland. I had two interviews that I thought went really well to the extent that I even started looking at places to live based on how far they would be from the job. Scott and I looked at several houses that we liked, but without having jobs it is difficult to be accepted as renters. Of course, what happened was that I was not chosen for the job. I usually have good luck with interviews and I have had a few jobs get away from me in the past that I thought I wanted, but this one took a while to get over. So, I went from potentially having a job and a place to live to nothing, right before Christmas. After I got out of my funk, I applied for jobs everyday. As luck would have it, I ended up having 3 interviews on the week of my 28th birthday in December. I not only got offered a second interview for one 4 days after the initial interview, but got a job offer 2 days after another interview. A merry Birthmas to me, indeed! I ended up having one of the best Christmases in VT in recent memory (a good time with my family and reuniting with a lot of my oldest and closest friends) but I was without my boys for the 3 year in a row.

I started my new job at the end of December- looking back, I would have never guessed that a month after being devastated by being rejected, I would start working. I am working at the University of Southern Maine as an administrative assistant in the disability services office. In retrospect, I think this job is the best fit for me right now as adjusting to life here has definitely been a process and my colleagues have been very understanding of the magnitude of my transition. In fact, the boss of the office is a colleague of mine from AU who made the same move earlier in 2012. I like the job in the sense that there is a lot of flexibility and that I can make my job my own- I have more decision-making abilities. The only downside is that, again, I am a Master's graduate working as an administrative assistant outside of my field. I struggle with this mentally, emotionally, and financially. That said, it is a lot easier to handle than in my job at AU as I feel more a part of the team (there are only 4 of us) and that my opinions and expertise are truly valued.

Scott started working as a temp in December and as of January we knew we would be able to find our own place. We looked at a few other places and came across a really cute house that was among the least expensive we looked at-$800 for a two bedroom. We took it and it has been great for us so far. The biggest challenge right now is to get back to a life of "normalcy". Finances are very tight, as they are for most people, so we mostly just work and hang out at the house. It gets kind of lonely, but we have made time/money for hanging out with some friends and those times have been really fun. Once we figure things out more financially, I will start looking more at my career and where I want it to go. My colleagues have been really supportive about professional development and I think being at USM can really work to my advantage. The present is a little uncertain, but the future and its possibilities are very exciting. I recently read an article about making goals and it's something that would be good for me to sit down and really think about. I used to be very goal-oriented, but for the past few years I have felt lost without a "destination". It's good to be flexible, but having a "heading" is equally important. I hope I can decide that for myself soon.

PS I am SO excited to be near the ocean!!!