My Mom passed away suddenly/unexpectedly after fighting metastatic breast cancer 2 weeks ago. It wasn't supposed to happen that way. Mom was supposed to live into her 80s like her Mom, not die at 66. I was supposed to have a family of my own before she died, not to be without a mother as an unmarried 28 year old. We were supposed to go to Jamaica next year like we had always dreamed; I wasn't supposed to witness my Mom's death a week before my 29th birthday. She was supposed to be at my wedding and meet my children. Mom fought adversity her whole life; life was supposed to cut her a break. Terminal illness happened to other people; it wasn't supposed to happen to my family. Not my family, not my Mom. She fought cancer once and was about to be 5 years in remission; it wasn't supposed to come back and kill her.
Her doctors should have known that. She should have known that. The cancer should have known that. I guess sometimes life does not break the way it's supposed to.
Ahhhh, Charm, just discovered your blog. When I read this, I cried for what should have/could have been. You're right, it wasn't supposed to happen. EJ should've lived a long life, been mother of the bride and spoiled her grandchildren.
ReplyDeleteOn this 6 month anniversary of her heaven day, I want to encourage you to keep writing. You've inherited the gift of story telling that your Mom and I both enjoy, that invokes deep feelings in others. Writing is a gift and very cathartic to heal our psyche.
As you know, I'm writing a book about Grammie Vera's life, which includes me and your Mom, of course. But it took me 8 years of grieving Grammie's death before I could take the plunge to write the story and not be overwhelmed by it.
I encourage to use your blog, or whatever means works best for you to keep writing. Whether you share it or not isn't important.What's important is that you put words to paper and get it out of your mind and into a tangible form.
I thank you for your Christmas post. It was all the things I was thinking about when EJ passed away. She'll always be our guardian Angel.
All My Love,
Aunt Debbie
Thank you for reading my blog and commenting! I agree with everything that you said. I have written some since then in my private journal, but I am feeling the 'itch' to write more here. I am just finishing a class this week that has taken up a lot of my time, but I think I will start keeping up more with my blog after I finish the class.
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